My posts lately have been a little less matter of fact and a little more from the heart. I have been terrible about keeping up with my posting schedule, but life has been busy, we’ve been battling colds, and I’m giving myself some grace here. I figured that I might as well keep this pattern going today, and let you know what I think about Mother’s Day.
Originally on my calendar I had planned to do a post on the best Mother’s Day gifts for the moms in your life. When it came time to write it, I thought and thought about what I really wanted for Mother’s Day, and I just couldn’t come up with anything. In all seriousness, and this isn’t in any me trying to brag, but I don’t want a thing. I certainly don’t need for anything either. Sure, a massage or mani/pedi is always great but when I think about Mother’s Day, these aren’t exactly what I’m thinking about.
Two years ago I celebrated Mother’s Day in the hospital after giving birth to the twins just 36 hours before. We asked for privacy that day and so that whole day we spent just us four, getting acquainted as a family. It was absolutely the best Mother’s Day that I could’ve imagined. In those first moments, I was so very grateful. Grateful to have been given these two little blessings, grateful that they were healthy, and grateful that we were surrounded by so much love.
Related Post: The C-Section, Our twin birth story
Most of all I was grateful that these two little individuals made me a mother. I will never deny that Mother’s are very deserving of a day dedicated to them. Being a mom is the hardest role I have ever had the privilege to hold. It stretches me beyond my comfortable limits and many days I just hope and pray that the choices that I make are the right ones. I too have been up all night with my babies, I have changed countless diapers, nourished my children for their first year from my body, and cleaned up an endless amount of messes that they’ve made. It is no surprise to me that most Mother’s Day gifts are an attempt to give mom a bit of relaxation time. Relaxation time is few and far between for most moms.
But here is the thing, on Mother’s Day I really just want to celebrate my kids…
My kids have done SO much for me. I understand that that sounds crazy, but they really have. My boys teach me patience and show me what I’m capable of. They remind me to find joy in the everyday, and belly laugh every chance that I get. Prior to having my kids, I was someone who was constantly was looking for someone else’s approval to know my worth. Since having them, I am incredibly sure of myself and my worth. I know that I am an incredible mom. I really don’t spend time
obsessing about the extra ten pounds that I carry like pre-mom me did. No longer do I feel super bummed when I can’t make an outing with friends, or feel like I’m missing out. I know so much better now. I am exactly where I need to be.
The only approval that I need these days are my kids running into my arms with smiles and kisses when I get home. That, right there, is all the success that I could ever hope for.
“You’re my dream come true, you’re my beautiful sunshine”
Matt and I just put our one year-olds to bed for the last time. Tomorrow morning they will officially be two and I have no idea where the last 730 days went. When I think about Mother’s Day, I think about their birthday. I think about my first Mother’s Day that we spent together in our hospital room. We snuggled, napped, and watched the Yankees. It was truly the best. A few people have said that its a bummer that their birthday will always fall right around Mother’s Day because I won’t have the day to relax or be celebrated…and I think they couldn’t be more wrong. This year Mother’s Day is the same day as G&G’s birthday, and I’m so excited for that.
Grady and Greyson are the best Mother’s Day gifts that I could’ve ever received. Every moment with them is precious and worth its weight in gold. So many women want to be mothers and for whatever reason don’t get the opportunity. So many women are mothers, but may not have their children physically with them. I am so fortunate for what I have. For as long as I can remember I wanted nothing more than to be a mom. I am so very grateful that I’ve been given these amazing little gifts.
So what exactly do I want when I think about Mother’s Day?!
I want to snuggle on the couch and watch cartoons in the morning. I want to share breakfast together and pretend to drink the play cup of coffee that they make me every morning. You can bet your bottom dollar that every time they asked to be picked up, I will, and I will hold on for as long as I can, even though my arms tucker out quickly these days. It’s safe to assume that I will put the track back together on their new train table at least ten times.
I hope to get at least few dozen or more hugs and kisses from each of them, and that we read The Very Hungry Caterpillar over and over. We plan to have all the grandmas over for birthday/Mother’s Day ice cream sundaes, and of course there will be candles. Most of all I hope that I can catch a glimpse of as many smiles and giggles as possible, and file them in my memory.
Time is going way way too fast. Last year at this time they were only saying a few words, and barely taking a few steps. Now, they never stop moving or talking…. and are saying full blown sentences. They can count, know their colors, and “read” stories back to us. It’s so incredible to see what a year can do. And tonight we turned on the song we listen to every night during our bedtime routine and as I rocked Greyson, I could hear his little voice singing along….
“You make me happy, when skies are gray…”
So this Mother’s Day we will celebrate my boys. It will be hectic, and busy, and exhausting, but oh so wonderful! I am so proud of the little men that we are raising, and so thankful to be their mama. When I think about Mother’s Day, I think about them, and that is really all that I could ever need…
Happy 2nd Birthday my sweet boys!
My Grady J
It is so hard to believe two years have gone by since I first kissed your little face. How many millions of other kisses I’ve given you since? But that one is still etched in my memory. You are so intelligent , my little man. Everything we tell you, you seem to memorize! I love how much you love pizza (with blue cheese), pasta, and ice cream- just like your mommy and daddy! And it never ceases to amaze me how much food that you can fit in that little belly. I’m obsessed with your belly laughs, especially when I ask for a nosey kiss or mention how “stinky” your toes are.
I love that horses are your favorite animal and how much you love your daddy (both just like me)! It melts my heart the way to scrunch up your nose and give me a cheesy grin when you are trying to sweet talk your way into something. I love your determination and how you know exactly what you want. You are so good at following directions, always asking for our “hand’ before walking away. I am so proud of how you use your manners and say please with every single request. You are going to do big things with that strong personality of yours. I am so honored to watch you grow.
My Grey Grey
Oh buddy, you have caught right up to your brother (and maybe surpassed) in height and weight. You are rock solid, and so stinking strong! You are the kindest person that I know. I love what a big heart that you have. You are always giving what you have to others, hugging, kissing, and worrying about anyone who is sad. It makes me so proud when you want to include everyone and everything! But buddy, I’m not sure how many more stuffed animals you can fit in your crib! The way that you love your brother and Bronxie is especially heartwarming to me! You have me wrapped around your little finger. Your dance moves are on point! And your love for music runs deep!
Boy, you are a spitfire. You are hysterically funny, energetic, and silly. Your giggles make me laugh right along with you! It’s amazing how intelligent you are! You love putting things together, taking them apart, all things trains, and cooking in your kitchen. I have a feeling that we are going to be in trouble with you in your high school years, because you can surely outsmart your dad and I. One of my favorite things ever is snuggling with you every morning before our days begin, it is so precious! You make the world a better place with your kind heart, and I know you will do so much good in your future! I am so grateful that you’re mine!
“You’ll never know dear[s], how much I love you…”
Happy 2nd birthday to the little guys who steal my heart over and over again! Thank you for all you’ve taught me over the last two years and all the love that you give out! I know that I’m far from perfect, but know that I do everything possible to make the best lives for you. I love you so very much and will do all that I can to be sure that you have a wonderful year!
Your [actual] Mama